Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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