My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
