I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
