I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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