i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
