Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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