Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
