i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
wanna go halves on a baby?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Everything about him screamed your future.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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