I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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