he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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