my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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