Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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