My room smells like vodka and shame
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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