Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
