"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
there is glitter all over my balls
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