yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
