that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
We are two peas in an std pod
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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