My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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