My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize