Porn is love you can see.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
