Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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