He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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