She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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