I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
