I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
