covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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