Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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