I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
