guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
