Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
