Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
