your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
there's paper in my vomit.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
