Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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