Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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