I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
my being single is dangerous.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
