kristin has been a bad kristin
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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