I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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