Cold hands, warm shart.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
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