so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
