You don't have asthma, your pregnant
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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