He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
