The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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