he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
