Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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