Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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