i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
