im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.