He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Apple has a Lot to Explain to iPhone X Customers
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
People Asked The Internet Questions About their Private Parts And The Results Are Hilarious
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's