We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend