The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom