Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
