whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
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