4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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