Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
