just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
