You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
