god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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