Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
