I heard we made out
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
thus making me awesome and them whores
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
