I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
