Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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