Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
