OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
