Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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