so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
